Where does the time go?
In January of 1992, my wife spoke that life altering phrase that no man is prepared for…”I’m pregnant”. I was 21 at the time; too young by most people’s standards to begin raising a family.But that didn’t matter to me…I was ready. Let me re-phrase that…I THOUGHT I was ready. I was mistaken.
Not that I ever doubted my parenting skills. I was raised in a typical household with two parents who worked opposite shifts and odd jobs to make ends meet. I was raised with love, kindness, discipline, and caring. I knew that I could be a good father but the enormity of the task eluded me. I was in NO WAY prepared for the profound impact my children would have on my life as a man, husband, friend, and father.
My first daughter was born in October of 1992. The following is an excerpt from my inner dialogue when she was born…
“She’s beautiful”
“Please help me”
“I can’t do this”
“I’m going to be the best Dad ever”
“I hope she looks like my wife and not me”
Only those of you who are already Dad’s can truly understand the flood of emotions that take over when your first child is born.
Move ahead 3 years to the birth of my second daughter. In a million years I never would have thought that I could share my heart with another child. WRONG AGAIN! The moment she was born that same flood of emotions and inner dialogue occurred right on cue. Even though I had been through this before, it was like the first time. Another beautiful daughter to claim me as her own. I was smitten for the third time in my life. I was 25 yrs old.
Fast forward 18 1/2 years later. I’m 41 now. I’ve been through diapers, rashes, broken bones, doctor visits, and grade school. I’ve coached T-ball, soccer, softball, and even cheerleading. I’ve been there through boyfriends and ex-boyfriends, through first cars and first accidents. I’ve seen countless cheerleading exhibitions and dance recitals. I have been the recipient of as much love as humanly possible and have given it back tenfold.
But none of this prepared me for this: dropping my oldest off at college.
I knew the day would come, but it was always in the distance. As you go through your day to day activities with your kids it seems as though time stands still. A recurring theme always played through my head…”I will always have this”. Believe me, you won’t. There will come the day when your child will leave and you’ll be left wondering what happened to all those days that never seemed to end.
I sat at my daughter’s desk the morning of her departure to write her a letter. I wanted to make sure she knew just how much she meant to me. As I wrote, my eyes began to well up. Believe me when I tell you that I a’m not an overly emotional person. But I was overcome sitting there and thinking back to all we had been through together. Hugs, tears, laughter, joy, heartache.
The whole family drove to Boston on September 6th. My truck was loaded to maximum capacity with everything my daughter should need to survive her first year of college. We laughed and joked. We unpacked and met her roommates. We re-arranged furniture. We enjoyed the day. It seemed like it would never end.
And even though it’s difficult not having her at home, I know she is where she belongs.
Kris McElroy
Manheim New England
